Listicles

10 Hip-Hop Album Cover Cliches

Ben — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:25:24 +0000

We really love a spectacularly ridiculous hip hop album cover. You know, one that deploys all the common cliches with copious jewelry, fancy cars, naked women, suits, cigars, a lurking posse, toned and oiled muscles, maybe a skyline, the works. It’s hip-hop, it’s all about showing off and having fun doing it. All of those tendencies and more are featured in StreetLevel’s excellent listicle of 10 Hip-Hop Album Cover Cliches, although we’d like to add one more to the pile: the old, “I wasn’t available for a photo shoot so we hired an illustrator and this is what they did.” Here are some classic examples of the illustrated hip-hop album cover.

(via Asylum)

12 Movies Set on Military Bases

Ben — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:54:53 +0000

No doubt you’ve heard the tragic news of the events that unfolded at Fort Hood yesterday, a place so remote and different from our daily lives that we struggled to picture what the largest military base in the U.S. might actually look and feel like. As we always do, we turned to cinema for some answers. We came up with these 12 Movies Set on Military Bases.

Stripes (1981)

Eventually this devolves into a ridiculous Cold War fantasy, but for a while there it’s nothing but classic boot camp comedy.

In the Valley of Elah (2007)

Perhaps the most relevant to yesterday’s tragedy, as it concerns a soldier disappearing after returning from Iraq.

Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Not that the whole film occurs on a military base, but the brilliant man who makes it all happen, Brigadier General Jack Ripper, is barricaded inside an army base which eventually becomes a war zone.

Thousands Cheer (1943)

Gene Kelly plays a trapeze artist whose family is hired to perform for the army (which includes Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney, Lucille Ball and more), but while on base he falls for the general’s daughter. You can imagine how that works out for him.

The General’s Daughter (1999)

We don’t remember the exact military intrigue of this film, besides that the general (James Cromwell, obvs) from the title had been up to some shady things and tried to cover them up. What we do remember was that it basically seemed like a movie about how being sexual in the military gets you killed.

The Last Time I Saw Archie (1961)

Robert Mitchum plays an army con-man during WWII, which would have been a harrowing drama in the 40s, an ensemble melodrama in the 50s, and by the 60s was fodder for comedy.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Speaking of comedy, we couldn’t make a listicle of military movies without mentioning the cinema’s greatest pro-war activist: Michael Bay. You probably won’t ever see a prettier movie about killing soldiers.

Great Guns (1941)

Laurel and Hardy on a military base? The gags practically write themselves.

Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came? (1970)

By all accounts an underrated comedy about the tensions between the military and civilians during Vietnam, it’s also got a strong cast including Tony Curtis and Ernest Borgnine.

A Few Good Men (1992)

The rare military courtroom drama that makes it worth waiting through all the icy stares and clenched jaws.

The Deadly Mantis (1957)

Even though the whole film isn’t set on an army base, obviously (you try keeping a giant praying mantis on-base), there are some rather spectacular sequences of the thing ripping into a northern military outpost.

Blue Sky (1994)

Tommy Lee Jones and Jessica Lange star in this sort of melodrama about the generational clash between military cultures.

Special Bonus: This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

It’s just the one scene, but it’s spectacular.

25 People With Terrible Fake Tans

Ben — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:13:46 +0000

So it’s starting to get really cold and legitimately winter-y, and our spider-senses tell us it’s time to start the winter rituals: bears hibernate, elderly New Yorkers migrate to Florida, and we all wear fake tans every day for about six months.

Seriously, it’s about the only way we’ve found to keep a happy face through the dreary cold months, which may have more to do with the chemicals in the product than the sunny disposition it gives us, but we’re hopelessly addicted and can’t stop fake tanning now, no matter how terrible it looks. Much like the folks in Holytaco’s listicle of 25 People With Terrible Fake Tans. We’re not sure why they left the nice-looking fellow at right out of the list.

(via NextRound)

12 Best Celebration Fails

Ben — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:17:28 +0000

The celebration FAIL is possibly the most embarrassing if it’s happening to you, and often the most satisfying if you’re a spectator, because what’s better than watching obnoxious victors get some swift comeupance? Epic Carnival deals out some bubble-bursting pain with their listicle of the 12 Best Celebration Fails, and we’ve got a couple more for them, starting with this recent Fail by a Phillies fan (sorry, by the way, about the Series).

The old “the clock’s still running” celebration fail:

6 Music Videos About Journeys

Ben — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:56:13 +0000

One time while were riding in the elevator in a really, really tall building one of our favorite jams came on the muzak, and we felt transported to a dark, light-dappled dance floor. We’re not sure the other people in the elevator were transported to quite the same place, and it became clear when the doors opened that we hadn’t arrived at a disco, but for those few minutes (it was a really tall building) the music took us on a beautiful journey. And the best music videos often add to that sense of musical transportation, leading us to stunning and strange places, like these 6 Music Videos About Journeys.

“Time for Nothing” by The Parisians (directed by Nicolas Davenel & Thomas Delebecque)

We love all things stop-motion. Plus we’re Parisian, so this is a beautiful trip around our hometown.

“It’s Okay” by Land of Talk (directed by WeWereMonkeys)

More of a metaphoric journey into the cosmos, this might the listicle’s most beautiful trip.

“Reunited” by Fan Death (directed by Dandilion Wind Opaine)

There are some road trip motifs here, but to be honest we don’t really have any clue what’s going on. Cool costumes though!

“Marrow” by St. Vincent (directed by Terri Timely)

Sure, it turns out that she never walked anywhere, but what’s the point of trying to follow music video logic anyway?

“Sometimes” by Miami Horror (Rhett Wade-Ferrell for MOOP JAW)

Alright, so there’s a big lull in the traveling towards the middle there, but the last leg of these two lovebirds’ journey, and where it takes them, is pretty spectacular.

Alternative video for “Strawberry Fields” by Coldplay (directed by Ross Neil and Matt Clark)

Maybe travel is an overstatement since this is more of a music video about commuting, but the imaginary journey is quite amazing.

8 Animated Gif Blogs

Ben — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:34:10 +0000

Though we often feel like we don’t use them enough, we really enjoy animated gifs and appreciate their artistry a great deal. We may start to do it a lot more now that Urlesque has curated a top-notch listicle of 8 Animated Gif Blogs, which is a fairly invaluable resource given how many crappy animated gif blogs there are out there. Although we have another favorite to add to the list after the jump, our favorite from the listicle is probably GIF Anime, which has some questionable content as well as some really beautiful images, like this one.

FailGif.com: The presentation is nothing special, but try not to waste the next 20 minutes on this site looking at hilarity such as this.

The 35 Manliest Mustaches of All Time

Ben — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:27:57 +0000

You might say that we’ve been pretty heavily into facial hair lately, and that’s partially true, although we’ve been very exclusively dealing with beards. What about that other dominant genre of facial hair, the mustache, you might wonder.

Well, we haven’t forgotten about that–we actually prefer the mustache, truth be told–and we’re especially fond of the ’staches featured in Art of Manliness’s listicle of The 35 Manliest Mustaches of All Time. That said, we’re very impressed by Friedrich Nietzsche’s spectacular whiskers (pictured), but we’re dismayed by what we regard as an irredeemable omission, included after the jump.

Salvador Dali: The superstar surrealist had the kind of mustache you could take an eye out with.

(via YepYep)

13 Delicious Songs About Candy

Ben — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:55:20 +0000

If you got a lot of Halloween loot you’ll be happy to know that nobody can stop you from eating as much as you want today: it’s National Candy Day! Somebody was thinking synergistically when they scheduled these two days so near each other. We’re going to take this opportunity to think about candy in more abstract terms, though. Because candy isn’t just delicious in your mouth: it’s also yummy in your ears. Candy is a popular metaphor for all manner of sexual innuendo in music (and sometimes people actually make songs about candy), as you’ll notice while sampling our 13 Delicious Songs About Candy.

“The Tootsee Roll” by 69 Boyz

Overlooked musical geniuses, them 69 Boyz. We wonder why they don’t teach this dance more often.

“Laffy Taffy” by D4L

Again, this is really a song about a dance that’s named after a kind of candy, but they drop the names of so many candy bars that it still seems appropriate. You’ll also notice that they sampled another song from this listicle.

“Lollipop” by The Chordettes

Possibly the first ever song about candy. Imagine the ridiculous music video a modern version of this song would have. Or just watch this…

“I Want Candy” by Bow Wow Wow

Well, obviously.

“Chewing Gum” by Annie

We’re not sure who this Annie person is, but we love how that one sound effect actually kind of evokes blowing up bubble gum.

“Candy’s Room” by Bruce Springsteen

This may be the listicle’s only sinister use of the candy metaphor, which is impressive.

“Candy-O” by The Cars

So much 80s, and wait, there’s more…

“Candy” by Cameo

It’s an 80s overload! (The original video is also pretty spectacular, but unembeddable.)

“The Candyman” by Sammy Davis Jr.

What a classy guy, with an appropriately sweet and syrupy voice.

“My Boy Lollipop” by Millie Small

We can’t decide if this song is really annoying or really terrific. Her voice is just so hard to get used to, not unlike another song about lollipop men…

“Lollipop (Candyman)” by Aqua

Clearly, Aqua was way before their time.

“Candy Girl” by New Edition

Man, they were pretty awesome back in the day, huh?

“Chocolate Jesus” by Tom Waits

We’re not entirely sure what he’s saying, but the premise of a chocolate Jesus itself is pretty amazing and could go in so many directions.

Top 5 Comic Book Cities

Ben — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:14:05 +0000

You may have noticed that we’re huge architecture nerds, and, to a lesser degree, comic book fans. In a weird way, though, we’re maybe even more fond of the places where science fiction and architecture intersect and help to create spectacular, imaginary new constructions. We really enjoyed Architects Journal’s vidsticle of the Top 5 Comic Book Cities, although we’re a little surprised by the absence of some version of Metropolis from Superman.

(via NOTCOT)

25 People With Bee Beards

Ben — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:05:20 +0000

Last week we looked at some art and crafty facial hair substitutes in the days leading up to Halloween, plotting the possibility of knitting beards for our own costume. This week we’re contemplating facial hair of a very different, decidedly more organic and unruly sort: the bee beard. Holytaco has assembled a a listicle of apicultural facial hairstyles featuring 25 People With Bee Beards, although we’re surprised they left this calm fellow out.