The 42nd President of the United States of America celebrates his 63rd birthday today, perhaps you’ve heard of him? William Jefferson Clinton managed to remain one of the most popular Presidents during his time in office despite certain unmentionable scandals, and has only become more beloved since. After leaving office he single-handedly gentrified Harlem, and recently you may have seen him rescuing American journalists in North Korea. To celebrate we’re offering him these gifts: 13 Awesome Items of Bill Clinton Merchandise.

Bill Clinton Mask

Slowly but surely becoming a favorite among bank robbers.

Saint Clinton Ceramic Ornament

Most messianic president ever!

Bill Clinton Skateboard

Coolest president ever!

Customizable Bill Clinton Shirt

For a small fee, Bill will say anything you want him to.

Bill Clinton Saxophone (and matching shades)

Slightly more expensive than most Clinton memorabilia, but, you know,he actually touched this one.

Bill Clinton’s Your Daddy Pin

We can totally picture him handing these out at campaign stops.

Bill Clinton Penis Pen

Where can we get this?

Bill Clinton Grope Shirt

This was probably originally meant to be an Arnold Schwarzenegger shirt.

Bill Clinton Action Figure

Comes with tear-away pants for fast action.

Bill Clinton Corkscrew

Brilliant!

Bill Clinton Cards

We’re a little surprised he’s a Jack and not a Joker.

Bill Clinton Bobblehead

We pictured his bobbler being taller somehow.

Bill Clinton Condoms

Left over from the canceled project to make Clinton a safe sex spokesman after leaving office.