Today, for some unfathomable reason, is the day when going down to the woods is sure to give you a big surprise. We’re told there’s lots of wonderful things to eat (humans, presumably) and wonderful games to play. Beneath the trees, where nobody sees, they play hide and seek as long as they please, because today, strangely, is Teddy Bears’ Picnic Day. Since the event itself sounds so mysterious and cloaked in secrecy, and we understand that, like a trashy 21st birthday party at the W Hotel, it’s pretty hard to get into, we sent our crack photographers (ie. one astute image searcher) to snap these Photos From 10 Teddy Bears’ Picnics.

Drunken Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Bear One: “Oh man, I got totally wasted and passed out at the picnic yesterday.” Bear Two: “Yeah, then we shaved your whole back.”

Who Let The Dogs Out (and Into the Teddy Bears’ Exclusive Picnic)?

That one bear’s tokenistic Native costume is offensive!

Who Let the Reptiles Out (and Into the Teddy Bears’ Exclusive Picnic)?

Loving the bear’s awkward sidelong glance (and the copious drinks).

Don’t Take Food from the Teddy Bears

It’s just a ploy to get closer to the kids…

Teddy Bears Kidnapping Food for the Picnic

They were never seen again.

Cops Break up the Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Funny how much that bear looks like a mole…

Civilized Teddy Bears Prefer Tea Parties

They also celebrate bear diversity by inviting the neighborhood’s only panda.

Punk Girl Crashes the Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Oh, the painful sting of youth.

Teddy Bear Mascots’ Picnic

Why is everything so much creepier as soon as it involves people in giant animal suits?

Giant Ghost Crashes a Teddy Bear Picnic

Those are some brave bears, not even flinching in the face of certain death.