Today is National Nurses Day (which itself is merely the first day of National Nurses Week) and as a celebration of diversity within the nursing community we’ve sought out some of its most under-represented members. Marginalized within their professional communities, pop culture has become the primary public forum for these 11 Dangerous Kinds of Nurses.

Pirate Nurses

Everybody needs an eye patch after an appointment with a pirate nurse.

Zombie Nurses

Don’t listen to them, no matter how insistently they claim that the only solution is to remove your brain.

Vampire Nurses

These experts at blood transfusion also have an unfortunate knack for misplacing blood samples. Weird…

Nurses in Heels

Something about needles and heels seems – despite the linguistic appeal of assonance – like a bad idea.

Ghost Nurses

Liable to wheel you right into a wall.

Crochet Turtle Nurses

We’re not even sure where to start explaining the problems with nurses of this persuasion.

Cat Nurses

Every time we encounter one in a hospital it gives us paws…

Nurse Rockers

The grungy origins of music therapy.

Mannequin Nurses

This would explain the hours we spent reading old magazines in the waiting room.

Ninja Nurses

Sneaky nurse ninja likes to steal stethoscopes and stealthily play doctor.

Plush Pink Marshmallow Nurses

Obviously, their lack of digits is problematic. They’re also very tempting on those days you have to go to the doctor’s on an empty stomach. Finally, as evidenced above, they seem to have developed a taste for human hearts.