We’ve been planning to buy a car for years now, but every time we’re about to pick a make and model we get really freaked out by what seems the much more important decision: what kind of license plate to get. Every state has dozens, and even then one could easily travel to a neighboring state for prettier plates. The options are virtually infinite. Here are 10 Disastrous License Plate Designs that we’ll surely never get for the car we’ll never own.

Florida’s New Jesus Vanity Plates

Apparently, somebody forgot to tell the folks down in Florida about the whole “freedom of religion,” “separating church and state” thing.

Florida Horse State License Plate

You learn something every day. We would have guessed Kentucky was the horse state.

Colorado Marine Corps License Plate

In Colorado, the Marine Corps turns the skies to fire and the rivers to blood. Interesting that it’s also the home state of every major Christian fundamentalist group.

Alaska Aurora Borealis License Plate

It might be the northern lights, or it might be that that little girl has be smoking something potent.

Virginia License Plate

The design isn’t bad per se, but it allowed this clever motorist to publicly endorse cannibalism, so it fails.

Nevada License Plate

Okay, we understand that there are wild horses in Nevada, but last we checked it wasn’t free. In fact, it’s the place people pay to go to in order to lose their money.

New Mexico License Plate

I can already think of one thing about New Mexico that’s not enchanting.

Nintendo License Plate

Technically not a state, but Nintendo’s retro vintage cool doesn’t quite work in license plate form.

Kentucky License Plate

It looks like the stickers teacher put on our drawings in pre-school.

Iowa License Plate

In Iowa, apprently, ducks are referred to as “black hawks.”