As you may have heard, Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi (at right) was sentenced to three years in jail yesterday for a little-known altercation during which he threw a shoe at U.S. President George W. Bush. It’s kind of a bummer, and in a deliciously Kafka-esque way says a lot about the humorless nature of bureaucracy. On the other hand, like any rapper worth his diamond-encrusted gold fronts, we know that al-Zaidi will seize on his prison time to mount a tremendous post-jail comeback including a blog, book deal, HBO mini-series and a plethora of from-behind-bars mixtapes with DJ Drama. Still, some take pity on al-Zaidi. Like Warren Holstein, who suggests in a Huffington Post piece the Top 10 Alternate Punishments for the Iraqi Shoe-Thrower. We especially like suggestion number 6:

Five-year cobbler apprenticeship with Daniel Day-Lewis, in exchange for character study which will culminate in his portrayal in the forthcoming Martin Scorsese biopic: “Shoe Missed Me”: Muntadhar al-Zeidi’s Dark Sole. Leonardo DiCaprio will play Dubya (because of the instant Green Light not his undercooked acting chops).