With St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow and Big Money Mondays today, we’re plotting the most extravagant cheap beer-guzzling we can possibly indulge. Beginning at 12:01 tonight, we’ll be bringing a series of the largest receptacles in our cupboard to our lips and draining them of liter upon liter of delicious hops. We realize steins are German, but with enough green beer in them we’re confident these 13 Fancy Beer Steins will look thoroughly Irish.

Deutschland Eagle Black Horn Stein ($289.99)

Easily passed off as patriotic drinking paraphernalia thanks to helpful eagle design.

German Pewter Beer Stein ($159.99)

Especially useful on St. Patrick’s Day for doubling as a self-defense weapon.

Limited Edition U.S. Marine Corps Stein ($137.00)

Because stealthy super-agents need to drink too.

Drink Beer and Go To Heaven Stein ($119.99)

Relieving you of guilt with every sip.

World of Warcraft Steins ($89.99)

Because video games and alcohol are marketed to the exact same demographic.

Half Liter German Stein ($79.99)

You can be the go-to person for German history (all of which is detailed on this stein) every trivia night.

.25 Liter Viking Ship Beer Horn Stein ($74.99)

Because one of the few things more macho-manly than a drunk Irishman is a Viking drinking from a tusk.

Official 2008 Oktoberfest 1 Liter Ceramic Stein ($59.99)

The cute design gives en masse binge-drinking a kid-friendly look.

Poland Glass Beer Stein ($52.99)

For the exhibitionist drinker.

Budweiser Beagle Stein ($44.93)

Dogs and beer, man’s best friends fused in stein form.

Stoneware Beer Mugs with Copper Trim ($29.99)

For the crafty, DIY set.

Beatles Abbey Road Stein ($29.99)

We’d love to see the makers of this stein attempt a Yellow Submarine edition.

Darth Veider Helmet Stein ($21.49)

You can’t give World of Warcraft nerds play then snub Star Wars fans.