15 Phallic Gadgets (That Aren’t Sex Toys)
Thank the Father it’s Freudian Fridays! In this edition of our weekly psychoanalystical where we turn Sigmund loose all over the fields of contemporary pop culture we’ll be looking at technological doo-dads that are more than they claim to be. Living in a technophilic age as we do, it’s no surprise that the imagery of consumer electronics should take on an exceedingly sexual style of design. After all, how much easier is it to sell a new phone if its form immediately conjures illicit desires? We don’t know, but we’re guessing it helps. To track this psychosexual trend in product design, here are Listicles’ favorite 15 Phallic Gadgets (That Aren’t Sex Toys).
The Mini Pro 2 Back Massager
Yes, this one is old news, but it turns out that the low-tech model was even more naughty-looking.
The Wooden Back Massager
The Joystick
Well, what? It’s called a “joystick” for crying out loud.
The Breathalyzer
Though its form isn’t so strikingly phallic, between the uniforms, hand-cuffs and the general sense of playing with authority and submission, we feel pretty certain about this one.
The Digital Voice Recorder
The Digital Voice Recorder Keychain
Free-Standing Digital Camera
The Universal Remote
“Universal” meaning that it does everything. Although maybe not everything this other model looks like it does…
Universal Zapper Remote
The Electric Squid-Shaped Wisk
In truth, actual squid are about as yonic as they are phallic (not to cling to that tired old binary or anything), but if you saw this thing in action you’d understand.
The Sperm-Shapped USB Drive
The Rechargeable Eddie Bauer Flashlight
The Hand-Powered Nine-Inch Flashlight
The Nose Hair Trimmer
The Finger-Shaped Ear and Nose Hair Trimmer
This product is completely real.
As for the Mini Pro 2 Back Massager… depends on how you use it. Just saying.
The last guy’s eye color is definably not.
Dude, you’re totally right! Look at that dude’s eye color! rofl!
You’ve got to be kidding me. I suppose this article was just meant to make guys giggle, because it was a huge letdown to me, and I’m sure every woman who clicks on the link.
I dont know, but some of those you really stretched it. Maybe the list should have been five
i agree with nana.. some were just stretching it
maybe that means you see penii everywhere you go and in every oblong, rounded object. freak
as for the dudes eyes, its obviously on two very different days (look at his skin complexion and outfit). people with green eyes often have their eyes change in a range from hazel/brown to bright green/aqua blue. as to why they had him take two different pictures on different days in different outfits - who knows?
No offense, but I like my list better.
Are there more testimonials around the site?
[...] big fans of strange sexual quirks and paraphanelia, and though we can’t truly say we endorse or encourage any one specific fetish over another, [...]
How can I link to this site on my blog?
Hi Adam. Feel free to link directly to this post specifically or to the main page as you see fit.
Always look for new shops as they tend to give great promotional offers. My shop, for example is offering many “gimmicks” to attracty customers and these should be on top of all your shopping minds. We all like saving money don’t we ?
Just looking around the house, i could add to that list no bother !!
And I suppose the writer thinks that a dog’s chew toy looks like a vibrator..oh wait it does.