This week the news (at least the really important news) has been all about animals getting jobs once performed by humans. First we learned about service dogs that fetch their owners water and do their laundry, then we read that the city of Mesa, Arizona had laid off its lawnmower operators and hired goats to cut back its grasses. That got us thinking, how many other jobs can be outsourced (or given back) to animals? Here, then, are Listicles’ suggestions for ways to cut costs with 7 Jobs We Could Outsource To Animals.

Rabbit Chefs

With nearly twice as many taste buds as the average human, rabbits have unjustly been relegated to a subservient rung on the food chain. Really, with their great sense of taste and instant-cute charisma, we should trust them to know just what kinds of foods will taste best and how to prepare them. We just hope it isn’t too awkward ordering roast rabbit from them.

Pest Control Cats

Let’s face it: humans have never had much luck with mice, rats and roaches. Usually, the products we come up with are just as dangerous to us and our pets as they are to the pests we’re trying to exterminate. Why not turn over municipal pest control agencies to a team of negotiator cats? They inhabit the same spaces and share many of the same routines as most pests, and photographic evidence suggests they can be very persuasive peace-builders.

Seahorse Crossing Guards

These wonderous creatures of the deep can move their two eyes independently of one another, making them the perfect pedestrian ushers at dangerous intersections. Also, we wouldn’t need to buy them reflector jackets.

Shark Ophthalmologists

Turns out most sharks have incredibly acute sight, and some can even sense light straight through their skull without even needing their eyes. As such, they would probably require only a fraction of the long years of schooling and medical residency most ophthalmologists have to go through. Also, with the additional income they could provide safer homes for their increasingly endangered family and friends.

Scorpion Meteorologists

With their ultra-sensitive hairs that are able to detect even the most minute changes in temperature, pressure and air movements, and their multitudes of eyes (some varieties have up to 12), we’re fairly certain scorpions could do a better job projecting weather patterns than our current ridiculously inaccurate meteorologists.

Penguin Oil Rig Maintenance Crews

Instead of bringing people to far-off oil rig sites, sending them into the depths to spend weeks in pressurized tanks and ending up with all kinds of spills anyways, why not give the job to these expert divers whose flat corneas allow them to see very clearly underwater and whose sensitivity to ultraviolet rays means they can see greater detail in the bottomless depths of oil rig foundations. Also, penguins will be more invested in the sound maintenance of oil rigs to avoid spills, and will be more likely to conspire with Greenpeace to bring down the evil oil empire.

Elephant Sound Engineers

With their massive ears, elephants can hear an entire range of sounds that are inaudible to humans, not to mention their clearer and more crisp understanding of the noises we hear in only partial detail. As such, they would make terrific sound engineers for film and television. Factor in their instant-cool trunks and you’ve got the most entertaining DJ in town.