Last year one of our favorite mall visit time-wasters, The Sharper Image, filed for bankruptcy and closed all its stores. We were crushed by the loss of all those useless, cheap-feeling gadgets we loved to play with but never bought (hence the bankruptcy).  Fortunately, we read yesterday in The New York Times of the company’s ambitious after-life through liscensing. By selling the rights to market and sell its products to other companies, Sharper Image can get back to designing wacky gadgets without having to worry about how to get money for them. In celebration of Sharper Image’s return from beyond the recession grave, here are Listicles’ favorite 15 Ridiculous Sharper Image Gadgets.

Voice-Operated Grocery List Printer

Because soon nobody will remember how to write with their hands.

Dashboard Air Purifier

In case the air inside your car is as polluted as the air outside.

Hand-Held Breathalizer

So you’ll know to call your lawyer before you get arrested.

Hands-Free Can Opener

Because, really, can-opener are kind of a pain in the ass.

Two-Wheel Pivoting Skateboard

Until the hoverboards from Back to the Future go on the market, this is as close as it gets.

Clocky the Rolling Alarm Clock

No more hiding from your alarm clock (can be programmed to prod, splash and beat especially heavy sleepers).

The Aluminum-Cast ISIS Puzzle (doesn’t actually levitate)

This is what the people in Stargate play with instead of Rubick’s cubes.

iWave Cube Mini-Microwave

We have this in our apartment (it’s the only microwave that would fit into our kitchenette-closet) and it is awesome.

Temperature-Gauging Pitchfork

Can be clipped safely to belt for especially drunken BBQs.

Electronic Nose-Trimmer

Classic Sharper Image stuff. Surprisingly efficient for self-defense, as it turn out.

Hands-Free Soap Dispenser

Solving the age-old problem of how to turn on the tap once your hands are soapy without getting soap on the tap.

Cardio-Boarding Fitness Machine

Too cold to surf, to wet to skate or too warm to snowboard? Hit the waves, parks or slopes in the comfort of your home.

Hand-Held UV Sanitizer

Because you’re so filthy that all your stuff is covered in microscopic bacteria.

Wooden Speaker iPod Dock

Giving the go-to populist chic mp3 player a decidedly upper-crust twist.

Robot Panda (cub not included)

Because they’ll be going extinct soon, and aren’t that cudly in real life.