It’s inauguration day, the second sort-of holiday in a row for many Americans, and as with every festive occasion in our great land, it’s a perfect occasion to peddle completely useless gifts. Over the last few days we’ve witnessed a veritable internet groundswell of items about Barack Obama memorabilia (hereafter “Obamarabilia” for short). In a way we like the idea of Obama inauguration (hereafter “Obamaguration” for short) Obamarabilia because there are so few galvanizing national (global?) events these days (9/11?) that are actually positive, so the impulse to have a souvenir of this great day is understandable.

That said, so much of this Obamaguration Obamarabilia is completely pointless and churned out solely in the interest of making a quick buck. In that respect, this international turning point of positivity is beginning to look like another Hallmark holiday, and we’ve gone looking for some of its lowest merchandising moments. Here, then, are Listicles’ least favorite (and, paradoxically, most favorite) 11 Bizarre Items of Obamarabilia.

Chocolate Obama

Obama Thong

Obama Jesus Candle

Obama Phone

Obama Marley T-Shirts and Posters

Obama Baby Gear

Run D.C. Obama T-Shirt

Obama and Democrats Russian Dolls

Obama Airplane Paperweight and Office Ornament

Obama Perfume

Andy Warhol-Inspired “Yes We” Can T-Shirt

Call it crass consumerism or call it The American Way, it’s the same difference.