1. It has begun: Sarah Palin launches presidential campaign. Her mission statement claims that sheadmires America’s “fight for freedom,” except if it’s for, you know, gay people. At least she’s, uh, “tolerant.”

The homeless will take your discarded Crocs, but they're not proud of it.

2. Why are PETA and Durex throwing their money away on commercials that are too risque to broadcast anywhere other than the internet? Of course sex sells on TV, but only when it’s selling light beer and politicians.

3. Speaking of sleazy pornographic advertisements, it appears that American Apparel might be in a wee bit of trouble with its finances.

4. Apparently this homeless, blue Crocs-wearing subway sensation (pictured) does not want your shit. Apparently, she also graduated from the Jack Kerouac school of anti-materialism and napkin writing.

5. Take MSNBC.com’s Oscar Quiz and play the Slumdog role by answering questions with flashbacks to harrowing moments in your life, like when Crash won Best Picture.

6. Slate’s Dennis Lim ponders, Is Slumdog Millionaire poverty porn? Well, it’s certainly a hokey film about poor, brown Easterners targeted at rich, white Westerners.

7. Scientific nature documentarian Sir David Attenborough is irritated by the hate mail he’s received from zealous creationists for not giving God a credit in his films. What’s even worse is the lizards are starting to ask for residuals.

8. The Daily Beast predicts the Breakout Stars of 2009, and they will continue to name-drop these nascent media darlings throughout 2009 just to fulfill their prophecy. It doesn’t matter that 1/3 of the list is moderately well-known: Channing Tatum, indie-chick Melanie Lynskey, Lenny Kravitz’s daughter, Atonement’s Oscar-nominated Saoirse Ronan. Wow, such clairvoyance.

9. Let the Bush-administration prosecuting games begin: Is karma catching up with Donald Rumsfeld?

10. Mad Men isn’t enough for Jon Hamm; he will be appearing with Tina Fey on 30 Rock as a tasty love interest and dominating good television for a few weeks. Here’s a video preview.