Top 10 Christmas Movies
We gave you non-denominational listicles about holiday-appropriate movie meals and denominationally derogatory Santa horror movies, and still you need to be un-PC and go looking for Christmas movies? Well, we certainly won’t help you, but the writers at Future of Classic are more tolerant of intolerance, hence their list: 10 Classic Christmas Movies. They almost won us over with their number ten by tapping into Listicles’ love of Muppets, but their Top 4 is where the money (sorry, “Christmas cheer”) is at:
- 4. The Nightmare Before Christmas: Not bad, though once you find out (as we did on our saddest and final Christmas) that it wasn’t actually directed by Tim Burton but merely presented, it loses some of its shimmer. Frankly, we think Edward Scissorhands makes a much more enjoyable and interesting Christmas movie, what with all the birth and crucifiction metaphors. Maybe if the entire Nightmare score were by Marilyn Manson:
- 3. Home Alone: Nothing like being left behind by Florida-bound family to make you realize how much you really love them. Personally, we prefer the sequel, with its grizzly visions of pre-Giuliani New York City and pre-Homeland Security air travel. Then of course there’s the long forgotten spin-off:
- 2. Elf: Will Ferrell often needs someone to reign in his humor of excess, and where we’d normally be opposed to a pre-packaged Christmas family comedy on this list, Elf is pretty great. Besides, the sequel looks plenty gritty:
- 1. It’s A Wonderful Life: Although I love how this intensely anti-capitalist movie that is incredibly depressing until its last scene has become a ritual for inhabitants of the most intensely capitalist society ever, it might hit too close to home this year. On the other hand, maybe seeing George Bailey being slowly destroyed by money will make us feel less vulnerable. If it’s good enough for Charles Manson (in this episode of South Park), it’s good enough for anyone:
So if you need Christmas cheer onscreen today and tomorrow but can’t stomach some Santa horror, take this list on down to the video store and have yourself a happy holiday.
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