The 7 Most Depressing Fates of TGIF Stars of Yesteryear
Jodie Sweetin, best only known for playing Full House middle child Stephanie Tanner, will write a book chronicling exploiting her meth addiction and child custody troubles. The juxtaposition of our memories of beloved child stars with the realities of their grown-up dysfunction is old hat–every kid with a catchphrase has dabbled in destructive behavior. The Disney Channel is currently the most visible breeding ground for troubled tweens and teens, but ABC’s once hugely popular TGIF lineup spawned enough washed-up stars to fill out a latter-day Mickey Mouse Club ensemble. Here’s the “where are they now?” you never asked for:
A life in fonts.
Christopher Castile (”Mark Foster” on Step by Step) wrote an autobiography at age 16. It’s called Being You is Most Definitely Cool.
Danielle Fishel (”Topanga Lawrence” on Boy Meets World) was arrested in Southern California for driving under the influence last year. After avoiding jail time, she used the incident to nab a probably-not-at-all-coveted “correspondent” role on The Tyra Banks Show and now hosts a lazier, boobier approximation of The Soup called The Dish on E!.
Christine Lakin (”Al Lambert” on Step by Step) had the distinct honor of playing the titular “nottie” in Paris Hilton’s visual ipecac The Hottie and the Nottie.
Omar Gooding (”Earvin Rodman” on Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper): certainly has the Hollywood odds stacked against him when even his Oscar-winning brother Cuba winds up in crap like Snow Dogs. He was arrested for gun possession during Cooper’s run and is now spends most of his time playing poker at the Aladdin Casino in Las Vegas.
Sasha Mitchell (”Cody Lambert” on Step by Step) dabbled in amateur kickboxing (as men named Sasha are probably wont to do), and later faced some possibly-dubious accusations that he abused his wife that landed him in jail twice. You never heard about this because nobody cared except Entertainment Tonight, whose producers buried it in coverage of their kabillionth Donnie and Marie Osmond reunion special.
Stefan Urquel?
Jaimee Foxworth (”Judy Winslow” on Family Matters) struggled with drug addiction, depression and a brief career in porn (you may know her from More Black Dirty Debutantes 30 or More Black Dirty Debutantes 32) before winding up on last summer’s VH1 awful-fest Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, where she revealed her addiction was to…marijuana. Now I’m no doctor who goes by his first name, but I’m pretty sure being an out-of-work pothead doesn’t require inpatient treatment. Prescribe some Easy Mac and release her.
Jaleel White (“Steve Urkel” on Family Matters) was, shockingly, never arrested. But he did star in a slew of excruciating movies, including a romantic comedy called Who Made the Potatoe [sic] Salad? Now, I’m going to give writer/director Damon “Coke” Daniels (no, really, his nickname is “Coke” and he also directed something called “a glockumentary”) the benefit of the doubt on the misspelling and assume it was intentional–after all, the “e” is kind of hanging off the word “potatoe” in the cover art. You know when you’re at a Blockbuster? And you have to comb through hundreds of straight-to-DVD releases just to find a copy of Iron Man? And you say to yourself, what is the purpose of all of these films? They’re Jaleel White vehicles.
(additional reporting by Lauren Savit)
“You know when you’re at a Blockbuster? And you have to comb through hundreds of straight-to-DVD releases just to find a copy of Iron Man? And you say to yourself, what is the purpose of all of these films?”
Simple solution: stop going to Blockbuster. There are many indie video stores out there promoting much better stuff and not trying to compete with the Big Blue Bastard. Support them! If you aren’t, then don’t complain about being inundated with has-been star vehicles. That stuff is out there for the endless stream of suckers.
Easier said than done, Lew. Where else will I find 40 copies of Scary Movie 27?
I’ve seen Who Made the Potatoe Salad and it is surprisingly pretty funny. Although I hoped the misspelled “Potatoe” was intentional, I don’t believe it was…since there’s no reference to it in the movie. Other that the misspelling, the film is pretty good if you give it a chance.
LOOOVE the Easy Mac comment. Here cue Bob Saget in “Half Baked” at the Narcotics Anonymous meeting…
Depressing shit.
If I were Sasha Mitchell, I personally would kick that fat ass wife he had in the head for beating the “little” kids they had together. Why is it that a woman can pound on a man all she wants, but when he hits back, HE is the one that goes to jail????????