With high-profile international shoe terrorism spiking over the weekend, in this installment of our weekly financial column Big Money Mondays we take a humbling look at the costs of this string of crimes that often go unreported (possibly because they are, more often than not, perpetrated by reporters).

Circa pre-recession times – but just in time for holiday shopping – Forbes published just the listicle we need back in 2005: The 12 Most Expensive Ready-Made Men’s Shoes. Since we know you wouldn’t get your special someone anything but the best, or carry out a shoe hit with anything but the most sophisticated shoe, here are the top 6 from that list, all coming in at over $1,000 per pair (except in one case, where you get three shoes for extra ammo).

Edward Green’s Dover Split Toe shoes ($1,075)

This quietly elegant, humble shoe from England’s foremost luxury footwear maker since 1890 comes double-soled (to resist sniper fire, should your target be heavily protected), and features a toe seam that was stitched with a pig’s bristle… We don’t know what that means (it sounds unethical, to tell you the truth), but let’s just assume it’s the kind of upper-class animal abuse hijinks we’ll simply never get to be a part of.

Tanino Crisci’s Lilian shoes ($1,250)

Similarly sturdy and elegant but with a touch of the Italian shoemaker’s flair, this number will be a nice fit for carrying out a stylish but not ostentatious shoe hit.

John Lobb 2005 shoes ($1,280)

Owned and operated by Hermes since 1979, this British house of shoes produces one ready-made line per year, so for the jet-setting clog-tosser who updates his closet ammo annually and likes to make a lasting impression, look no further than John Lobb.

Martin Dingman’s Arlo shoes ($1,395)

If you’re after looks that could kill made from deadly materials, look no further than this American fashion house’s Louisiana alligator slip-ons. Durable, elegant, exotic and quickly removable, your target won’t know what’s coming until it’s too late.

A. Testoni’s Norvegese shoes ($1,500)

Lightweight and durable, these elegant Italian soes are great for long-distance hits. As we all know, the main problems with foot-wear form projectiles are weight and wind resistance, both of which are addressed here. Ultralight and sleek for an easy throw, they also feature feather images hot-stamped into their soles, so they fly more smoothly.

New & Lingwood’s Russian Calf shoes ($1,550)

Among the oldest shoemakers in the world, this British fashion house started in 1865 also uses some of the oldest materials around. Quoth Forbes: “They’re made of Russian reindeer leather dating from before 1800, which has been cured in baths of rye, oat flour and yeast, hand-finished and soaked in wood liquor.” So if your target isn’t knocked out on impact, they might pass out from the leather’s chemical fumes.

Berluti’s Rapiécés Reprisés shoes ($1,830 for three shoes)

These were made with the shoe-chucking hitman in mind. Not only are there three for extra flexibility, back-up and contingency plans, but if the first two with their artisanal patchwork don’t do the trick, the sleek finale won’t miss.

Hip Alternative: Nike’s Limited Edition Air Force Ones ($1,000-1,500)

Originally not produced to be sold but as gifts for participants in a book on graffiti, these flashy numbers blend in for more street-savvy shoe hits. Also their name clearly reflects their ideal use. If you can’t get your target at a press conference, catch him on a private jet or presidential 747.

Ladie’s Alternative: Manolo Blahnik alligator boots ($14,000)

Perfect for the close kill, these sexy high-heeled thrashers will spark fear and fascination in your target as soon as they spot you. With shoe-hit equipment thoroughly covered, let’s finish with a lesson in technique from the first great innovator in footwear-throwing:

Who throws a shoe? Honestly?