I can't decide if this would make animal rights people angry or envious...

Some sobering news from the funny (if occasionally sexist-classist-racist) gentlemen over at NextRound: even though a self-parodying celebrity like David Hasselhoff might be able to pull off a strange or unlikely look with ample sex appeal, it doesn’t mean you, me, or any normal person can. Hence: 15 Looks David Hasselhoff Can Pull Off But You Can’t.

Among Hasselhoff’s inimitable looks: posing nude with puppies (pictured at right), the lifeguard look (from Baywatch, of course), and (perhaps the most challenging for would-be copycats) drunk and shirtless eating hamburgers:

Infinitely more empowering than the clip above, Hasselhoff masters cross-dressing and indoor-golfing in one fell swoop:

Practicing Chipping in Drag

Ever the wardrobe warper, Hasselhoff doesn’t need a dress to prove his unbeatable sense of style, though he does seem to thrive when combining disparate clothing items, for instance:

The Speedo-Leather Jacket Combo

Luscious chest hair has seldom been so elegantly framed. Seems like something’s missing from NextRound.net’s list though. How about this Listicles addition:

In Retro-Future Pleather with a Lightsaber

Other uniquely Hasselhoffian styles we missed? Let us know in the comments.