The New Yorker interviewed Prince this week, touching on both his conversion into a Jehovah’s Witness seven years ago and his anti-gay marriage views. I don’t think I’ve been so shocked to learn a likable celebrity’s religious and political stance since I found out Beck is a Scientologist (and he’s just number 8 on Cracked.com’s list of secretly Scientologist celebrities).

Now imagine him ringing your doorbell, Bible in hand.

I stopped listening to Beck two years ago, and for the last two hours I’ve tried to stop listening to Prince. How can the guy who made androgynous fashions and bisexuality cool during the Reagan 80s pull a 180-degree turn at another moment of intense conservatism? Determined to never again be surprised by a star’s treacherous politics, I set out to find a comprehensive and/or illuminating record of conservative celebrities. I’m sorry I went looking, see why after the jump.

Over at Associated Content, Timothy Sexton undertook a similar project and highlighted the results that surprised him most. Come on Tim, who didn’t expect Mel Gibson to be rabidly conservative? And sure, Jon Voight seems an unlikely Republican at first, but then again it helps to explain daughter Angelina Jolie’s over-determined and hyper-visible liberalism.

Medill, Northwestern University’s journalism school news site, mentions a few celebrities’ contributions to candidates in the 2008 Republican presidential primaries. I’ll never be able to enjoy Billy Madison again, that’s for sure.

Philly’s CBS3 put together a slideshow list, and as a shame-faced fan of the second Survivor season and its perennial cutie-pie Elizabeth Hasselbeck, I feel embarrassed and betrayed by the View co-host’s Republican views. Also, I’d been secretly hoping The Rock would become the self-deprecating, liberal-cool action hero of the future, but am saddened to learn just how similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger he really is.

Celiberal has a comprehensive list that’s just depressing, and will, if committed to memory, ruin any pop culture artifact you consume thereafter. So perhaps it’s wise to just skim it.